Dre Might Side with Rapunzel, but she Probably had Lice...

Dear EJ, and any other self-proclaimed ‘strong, independent woman’ seeking luck in love,

I am certainly crossing into Dre’s territory by responding, but every metaphoric tunnel deserves its glimmer of hope, don’t you think? Will my response get you laid? Unlock the door to romance? Probably not. But it’s another perspective, and as love is undoubtedly the oldest survivor of any human race, I will obey proper ‘etiquette’ and give her the respect she deserves.

Strength, success and intelligence. I agree with Dre that these elements are not necessarily intimidating—they are scarier than that. They level the playing field, and challenge the very core of masculinity on which human relations was founded. Man—the hunter, the provider. It is HIStory, after all. And in the ages of human existence, it was not until recently that woman obtained her voice and broke the barrier of gender roles that drove men to hang up their loin cloths (except for modified European versions of course) to accept a working version of ‘equality.”

But somewhere in the midst of shaking up the gender caste system, these (we) “independent romantics” burned our bras, donned our ‘powersuits,’ yet never stopped looking over our shoulder for our man on the stallion. Problem is, some other ‘strong, intelligent’ but jaded woman already kicked his horse in the balls, removed his reigns, told him his sword wasn’t hard enough and turned him into a knight in shining Armani. Somewhere, in the midst of it all, the rise of feminism fucked with Love.

So here is your light as promised, delivered with utter honesty as I am speaking as much for my own heart as I am for yours. One day I hope that man embarking on a new relationship will see that a woman who “Wants” to be with him is more rewarding than a woman who “Needs” to be with him. “Need” fills a void, is a necessity, and cannot be compromised. “Want” involves desire, emotion and free choice. I need a job, but I want a career. I need to drink water, but I want a glass of champagne. I “need” to find a mate and procreate, but I “want” to find my equal who will love me as much as I will love him.

And eventually, if Mr. Nuevo-Masculine and you, Miss Independent, give each other a chance, something amazing will happen. Without planning it, without the ‘damsel in distress moment,” you will suddenly realize you DO need him, just as much as he needs you. Why? Because need and want suddenly become synonymous with love, and love doesn’t give a shit about your gender, the shirt he wears, the expensive dinners he takes you on, or who saved who first.

So after much ado, and after cutting my Rapunzel-esque locks to a non “let down-able” length, I have yet to give up hope that there is someone out there willing to believe in true love versus “need fulfillment.” So EJ, Hang in there- I might have a bad case of tunnelvision, but I do believe that the light is worth the wait.