Editors Note: We are pleased to welcome Dre as our contributing advice columnist. As the global cassanova of cool, Dre expertly navigates between the worlds of professionalism and profanity, lending his health and human relations expertise to provide non-FDA approved A's to your Q's. I spent the summer in Europe and now I like eating European style and not switch the fork back and forth after cutting my meat. However, my mother tells me that since I'm back in the U.S., I should eat American style. What do you think?
Signed,
European Preference
Dear European Preference,
The American style of eating is simply a waste of time and is quite silly. I would like to equate it to wiping your ass with your right hand and then switching the toilet paper to your left hand before dropping it in the toilet. It just doesn't make sense. Imagine doing anything where you had to switch your hands in the middle of a process for no reason what so ever, people would think you might be a little special! So my advice is to stick with the European eating style, and while you are at it stick with a lot of European style things, with one exception, SPEEDOS!
Dre
The American style of eating is simply a waste of time and is quite silly. I would like to equate it to wiping your ass with your right hand and then switching the toilet paper to your left hand before dropping it in the toilet. It just doesn't make sense. Imagine doing anything where you had to switch your hands in the middle of a process for no reason what so ever, people would think you might be a little special! So my advice is to stick with the European eating style, and while you are at it stick with a lot of European style things, with one exception, SPEEDOS!
Dre
Posts
Dre,
ReplyDeleteExcellent start to your column, glad to see someone is finally tackling the real issues, that we as people face on a daily basis.
That being said, regarding your post. I am a former hand model, and much of my time was spent wearing large padded hand gloves, which I am sure you can understand makes using any type of eating utensil very challenging. So I find it rather selfish that you are discriminating between European and American style of eating.
Let me tell you, that in the beginning of my career I resorted to not eating at all, which rapidly accelerated my career as a hand model but after a freak subway accident my career was cut short, and it was time to take off the gloves and face reality. I am proud to say I have come full circle and I am someone who enjoys wiping my ass with my right hand and switching the toilet paper to my left hand...simply because I can.
Just wondering why you are no longer a fan of speedos (are you a former parts model?) we should meet up.
Dear Dr. Dre,
ReplyDeleteI must say that you both look and sound (based on your above answer) like someone who quite simply, cuts through the BS. Therefore, I am going to ask you one of the oldest and most cliched questions that has haunted women for ages and hope for (finally) a straight and honest answer. Are men threatened by intelligent, strong, and successful women? I hear time and time again that is what every man wants, but over and over see the opposite-with beautiful, intelligent friends who seem to have zero luck. Do men really just want a woman they can take care of?
Look forward to your insight-EJ